I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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