I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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