I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
