this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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