...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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