Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
