Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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