i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
