I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Please don't give away my fajitas
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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