this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
