They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
