I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
