i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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