I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
