people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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