she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i black out too much to be "responsible"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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