Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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