can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
