I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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