I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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