Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
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theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
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those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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