problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
