Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
