Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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