Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You took a bar mat shot.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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