She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize