i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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