I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
