girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
