Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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