Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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