I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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