someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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