very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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