Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize