thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
