My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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