i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
