11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
