Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
