We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
