so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The feeling are messing with the penis
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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