how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend