Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!