I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I AM VODKA MAN
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.