In America we eat man semen.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
