come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
