You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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