Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
