Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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