I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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