he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
