think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
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Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
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You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.