Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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