It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
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Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
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I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
how do you play pong handcuffed?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?