Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
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alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
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She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online