who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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