This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.