tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
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Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
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Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.