Texts From Last Night

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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it

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  (763): there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it http://tfl.nu/ck34
  Replies (50) Good night (1724) Bad night (3354)
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  (650): View more from California

  Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.

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  (650): Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/nfhv
  Replies (30) Good night (1646) Bad night (4179)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow

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  (704): I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow http://tfl.nu/jea1
  Replies (18) Good night (4223) Bad night (1083)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired

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  (902): I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired http://tfl.nu/suui
  Replies (19) Good night (3430) Bad night (1039)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.

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  (519): how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail. http://tfl.nu/ymgr
  Replies (7) Good night (862) Bad night (3467)
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  (408): View more from California

  if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place

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  (408): if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place http://tfl.nu/15wd
  Replies (33) Good night (6089) Bad night (1452)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.

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  (405): I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven. http://tfl.nu/4vzm
  Replies (8) Good night (2987) Bad night (784)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'

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  (615): When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.' http://tfl.nu/622f
  Replies (5) Good night (2208) Bad night (905)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.

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  (757): Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful. http://tfl.nu/da1d
  Replies (5) Good night (1943) Bad night (1706)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.

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  (405): while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love. http://tfl.nu/g8jj
  Replies (6) Good night (3367) Bad night (1013)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.

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  (321): If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted. http://tfl.nu/92nu
  Replies (4) Good night (2226) Bad night (804)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.

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  (919): Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok. http://tfl.nu/xw7f
  Replies (7) Good night (2836) Bad night (642)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.

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  (703): I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/y1ce
  Replies (4) Good night (951) Bad night (313)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis

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  (913): I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis http://tfl.nu/drda
  Replies (2) Good night (449) Bad night (212)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.

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  (330): If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League. http://tfl.nu/d8th
  Replies (2) Good night (853) Bad night (192)

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