This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
