this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
