1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
