I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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