grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he wants to bone in the snuggie
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
