i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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