great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize