What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
