...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
