I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
