im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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