I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
