Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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