I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
