Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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