Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
