**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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