She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
