my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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