I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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