If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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